TWW Blog

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blog. Putting the wackiness back in Wrong Way. Let the hijinks ensue...

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Wanted: Schmack Talk Replacement


Seeing that the King of Schmack is sittin' back on his suh-weet easy chair, TWW is on the lookout for a new schmack talk chumpion. Qualifications should include: excellent verbal and written skills; thick skin to deal with the competition; non-discriminatory schmack delivery (meaning no one should be exempt from the schmack); and it wouldn't hurt to be easy on the eyes (since Keith really wasn't - although the grey hair gives him a more distinguished look - kinda like Bob Barker).

TWW is an unequal opportunity employer.

posted by ginmtb @ 1/11/2006  

14 Comments:

  • At 1/11/2006, Blogger ginmtb said…

    Potential candidates:

    Mo - a bit young, and therefore doesn't have as many life experiences to draw from. But could be a good choice if she learns how to stop setting herself up for schmack being flung back at her.

    Jeffery - old, nearly divorced, on the Jan Ullrich training program, would be the ideal candidate but we're concerned his reign could be short-lived. Knock on wood.

    Sabine - probably could have stepped right into this role, but as they say, $hit happens and now she's all shmoopy and stuff.

    Nick - well, he's too busy trying to be the next Bob Vilarelampagos, so he is out.

    Dawn - another potential excellent candidate, however, appears to have disappeared off the face of the blog. Losing her edge a bit though, must be a man mucking things up again.

    McCrimmon - educated, well traveled, opinionated, but unfortunately no one really understands what he says other than himself.

    Matt L. - definitely too young and inexperienced. Just switched to lycra shorts too. Good candidate for the young Jedi Schmack training program.

    Old Lady Seery - no explanation necessary. Next.

    Hane - too focused on power and training. Kinda hairy too, messes up the Power Puff girl look.

    Man, is anyone worthy anymore?

     

  • At 1/11/2006, Blogger Velo Bella said…

    I disagree..
    Keith is hot.

    Shmoop or no shmoop, I dont know you people well enough to take on this role.

    And I'd like to keep it that way. You guys are like my weird cousins. Forced to interact on holidays and weddings, but don't expect me to hang out with you in the hallways or anything.

     

  • At 1/11/2006, Blogger Velo Bella said…

    You're right.

    My schmoopiness won't let me even let that comment hang out there for more than an hour.

    I love you guys.
    Well, except for the hairy one.

    Besides, I'd rather save my claws for that someone who really deserves such wrath, like that little Castia fella.

     

  • At 1/11/2006, Blogger ginmtb said…

    Like I know anyone in Velo Bella - let's see, Dawn, Mo, and Heather - although I hardly know them (but would like too nudge, nudge, wink, wink) other than Dawn (at one point I was Dawn's therapist - not sure that was a good thing). That don't stop me from running the schmack at them. Heck*, you've even indicated you can't wait to meet me so you can tell me to fuk* off.

    But that's cool cuz. We'll, as they say, keep it real.

     

  • At 1/11/2006, Blogger ginmtb said…

    What exactly does "keep it real" mean anyhow?

     

  • At 1/11/2006, Blogger ginmtb said…

    Ahhh, yes, Mr. Cantseeya. Okay, that is enough energy spent on him. Time to move on. Who's next?

     

  • At 1/11/2006, Blogger maleonardphi said…

    Keeping it real means no fronting, cause there's no future in fronting.

     

  • At 1/11/2006, Blogger ginmtb said…

    Hmm... an old friend of mine who worked in the grocery business defined "fronting" as moving all the cans and boxes to the front of the shelves so they looked nicely stocked. There's no future in that?

     

  • At 1/11/2006, Blogger maleonardphi said…

    Oooh, sorry, FRONTIN, not fronting. And pulling all the stuff to the front is facing, not fronting, at least in my grocery store days. "Hey Matt, go face the shelves!"

     

  • At 1/11/2006, Blogger ginmtb said…

    Ahh shite*, you're correct. It was facing. The memory is fading... what did you say again?

     

  • At 1/12/2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I don't know Gin, I think you sort of take the cake in the smack department, nothing and nobody is spared your special brand of swarmy charm.

    GTTM, DTAO

     

  • At 1/12/2006, Blogger ginmtb said…

    Keith has gotten so pathetic even bait like this won't bring him out. Sheesh.

    "Evil Keith, what have you done with the Real Keith?"

     

  • At 1/12/2006, Blogger ginmtb said…

    I don't know Gin, I think you sort of take the cake in the smack department, nothing and nobody is spared your special brand of swarmy charm.

    Thanks BJ, err, oops, I mean, JB.

     

  • At 1/13/2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Pretty good guess G-Spot...

    GTTM DTAO

     

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