Umm, uhhh, hmm...

Not sure exactly what is going on here but I think it might be inappropriate to post this photo on the blog. Or at least without an advisory or something like that. I did blur out the offending images though just in case...

Looks like oV will fit in with TWW just fine... and maybe this will end up on TMZ.com...

(pre-emptive strike since I'm somewhat frightened by what photo oV may have of me...)

Don't tell me you've never wanted to do this

Quite brilliant actually... I think this is one of Sterlacci's old math tests...

I want me some Candy!!!

Don't you? Crank Brothers Candy Pedal

Sea Snotter Weekend Report

Jeez, I still feel tired and I didn't even race. Crazy Sea Otter weekend as usual. Can they puh-leeze move this event to June? Even if you don't do the bike race thing, it still is a great time to see lots of people you haven't seen in awhile. So here are my highlights (and lowlights):

Saturday

- Wake up at the crack of a$$ to volunteer for the morning shift at the Dual Slalom. Actually get kinda hot and sweaty making my way up and down the hill a few times (perhaps offering Allie the leg massage contributed to this as well). And then the wind starts blowing. And then the clouds start rolling in. And then all hell breaks loose. You hear the term "sideways rain" used pretty often. But this was as close to horizontal rain drops as I've ever seen. Just stupid. I saw a family using the honey huts for shelter - you know it's bad when you resort to that. My umbrella saved my torso and head from getting wet but the pants and boots were toast. Made for a lovely rest of the day. My feet still hurt. Calgon take me away...

- Hung out at the Velo Bella booth ogling all the hot, fit women. If I weren't a TWWer I would definitely apply for a Podium Boy position. Lets see... I mounted Kristin Danielson... 's bike on a trainer. Gave Barb Howe some crap about only having one shoe under her front tire while she was on the trainer - I did offer to put my boot there so she could ride on me... And just very much appreciated Natasha's brown serape thingy that she was wearing. Oh my. Okay, need to take a moment. (pause) Alrighty, I'm good now. Had fun playing in the mud cutting drainage trenches and cutting Astro turf. A few of the VB's were trying to get me drunk - had my first mojito (no Isaias, not your Mojito). Good times. My favorite moment might have been oV saying for me to pick him up so that he could reach higher to secure a tarp from blowing away. So I did and he screamed like a girl telling me no, no, no, no, no! and to put him down. You had to be there.

- Cruised around the expo, talked with a bunch of people, and then decided it was time to get the hell out of dodge. Managed to sweet talk a Velo Bella to let me shack up at her place (or maybe she talked me into it). Hot shower good. Dinner at a restaurant good. Warm room, queen size bed good. Okay, I'll stop there... Hmm... maybe that's why I'm so tired... I'm sure Jeni will do her investigative reporting to get to the bottom of this scandal... Oh and for the record more than one VB offered me lodging. Oh yeah, I still got game.

Sunday

- Got to the race track and again parked in freakin' Seasiyeeed. Will someone please explain to me why the people who get there first park the farthest away? And why are the parking volunteers so militant? I can say this because I volunteered too. But I guess it is pretty darn boring for them out there. At least I got to see some racing action.

- Snappped a bunch of photos of the TWW racers coming in - right at the little climb before the race track finish. Watched Julie of the Roaring Meeces dab at that final right hander - don't be mad I coulda posted a photo of that. Allan was a freakin' amazing cheerleader - he definitely had his cowbell goin' on.

- Got most of us together for the TWW group photo. Need to pshop some stragglers into the shot - is there anyone out there that can help me with that? Came up with a great little image that we'll be sending to our sponsor Crank Brothers. I'll post it here when I getter done. Fun shootin' the shite despite not racing.

So overall it was a good time. I always feel though after the Snotter that I'm done with it. But I keep coming back every year. Hard to pass up on the good times... and all da suh-weeties...


(photo posted for Rich Henthorn - okay, I like it too)

Relationship Equivalency Exam

Relationship Equivalency Exam for Men

1. English: What does it mean when you say, "I'll call you?"

2. Math: How many women can you have sex with and still be monogamous?

3. Psychology: Other than abject fear, what are some possible reactions to the words, "I love you?"

4. Economics: Who pays for dinner if your date makes more than you, and how long before you resent her for it?

5. Physics: Find a way to arrange your bathroom items on your half of the sink, knowing full well your girlfriend needs the whole sink for her items.

Relationship Equivalency Exam for Women

1. English: When you say, "I'm not in a rush to get married," define the word "rush."

2. Math: Is the amount of minutes it takes you to evaluate a date as a potential husband more than or equal to the amount of minutes it takes you to identify and ignore the red flags?

3. Psychology: Other than abject fear, what are some possible reactions to the words, "I need space?"

4. Economics: How much should you pay for an apartment you never visit in order to keep a boyfriend from freaking out that you live in his?

5. Physics: Find a way to arrange your bathroom items on your half o£ the sink while still maintaining the illusion that you wake up looking this good.

Test over. Pencils down. Break up or marry accordingly.

There are some serious diptards in this World

So I drop off my car to get some service done to it this morning. I get a ride back to my house by the office manager or whatever her position is. We start talking, she's kinda goofy. Then we pass two couples riding on tandems side by side. That's cool, they're both in the bike lane.

But diptard driver decides to make some peanut gallery remarks.

Diptard: "Oh how cute (sarcastically). I like driving close to them and honking the horn to scare them. I wouldn't hit them or anything."

Me: "Well, they are completely in the bike lane."

Diptard: "I know, but they still drive me crazy sometimes. Just about 5 years ago some crazy lady in Alamo ran directly into some cyclists and killed one." (laughs)

She continued to ramble on not knowing that I'm a cyclist kinda sorta. I probably shoulda lit into her but I don't think that would've made a difference. She's old and set in her ways and has her biases. Probably already passed it onto the next generation too. Sad how biases, prejudices, etc. are passed on. We're not born with them.

Plus I didn't want my car all of a sudden to need thousands of dollars in repairs...

To Sea Otter or not to Sea Otter, that is the question

Despite Sea Otter being just a week and a half away, despite being a "cyclist", for some reason I can't seem to find any motivation whatsoever to ride the bike with any intensity. My weight workouts are very intense. My running workouts are somewhat intense. But then I just spin lightly on my trainer.

So do I pay $62 to ride at Sea Otter? Or do I show up, volunteer, spectate, take pictures, schmooze, etc. and just have a grand ol' time? (but bring the bike to justify to the wife being gone all weekend for a race)


Maybe I'm still in my base building mode like Mo. Maybe I've reached the saturation point on training in the garage. Maybe I'll be like Frankie and just retire from racing (or at least take some time away from it). Weird. I'm suffering from burnout before even doing one race. What's up with that? How do the road boys race like every weekend for months on end? How come dog isn't spelled C-A-T?

Oh and with the disinterest in the bike, the blog inspiration hasn't been there eeder. Calgon take me away...